Hi, I’m a heartless psychotic cunt. I said to this girl, Amanda whom I used to call my best friend, that I can’t wait for my mother would die. I told her this only to piss her off because nearly seven months ago, her mom died.

About a year ago,Amanda and I had gotten into a fight, this wasnt the first time. To get back at her, my boyfriend at the time, Bryan and I told her then that its too bad her Dad didnt die when he had cancer, but was cured only a few months before her mom was diagnosed with a much more serious cancer. My boyfriend told Amanda that I hope her mom fucking suffers and dies from the cancer. Not even six months later, after that was said, Amanda’s mom died.

She most certainly suffered.

After she died, Amanda and I must of gotten into another fight. This time my boyfriend’s best friend, Zach,told Amanda that hes going to find her mother’s gravestone to piss on it.

 Hi everyone, this is me, Amanda. Raechel was dumb enough to tell me her password for her account awhile back, so this is what she gets. Which is nothing compared to what I had to go through. She may be posting things about how horrible her life is right now, but would you like to see the real Raechel, and what she’s done to me?

http://stfuamandalynn.tumblr.com/post/4590598091/dont-make-posts-about-me-unfollow-me-if-you-dont

If you’re following Raechel, you’re following someone completely heartless, viscous, and cruel. I’m just hurt and angry. Anybody who wishes death upon anyone, deserves everything they get handed to them.

I’m not asking for any sympathy, pity, for any of her followers to take sides, or to even follow me. If you could do anything for me, it would be to go to the link up there, and read what she put in my ask box, and what I replied with. If you read it, it would mean the world if you liked it, just so I can have some sort of satisfaction that somebody gives a crap. It only takes a second.

Oh hey Raechel, do you like what I’ve done? I sure as hell do! ^______^

I think I’ve made it clear that you shouldnt tell someone who you used to call your best friend your password. You fucked up my life for months on end, and I’ll have to live with what you’ve done to me for the rest of my life. Me fucking up your Tumblr is the least I could do. I know you’ll probably be pissed, but thats the point.You wont have to think of this everytime you think of your mom. I’ll have to remember what was said to me everytime I think of mine.

my wrists are aching again. my whole body is aching. i want to cry but no tears fall. they well up and they stay on my lashes. i wipe the moisture away and the length of my finger is black. mascara. i get mad. i get sad. i get happy. i get emotionless. i am emotionless. i am numb. i feel nothing. no, i’m not emotionless. i’m not so lucky. i am not numb. i haven’t been so lucky in a long while. i am stuck in a state of discontent. i am not quite good enough. i am not quite a good enough daughter or granddaughter or friend or role model or artist or writer or person. i am not quite good enough. and in this state my lust for ecstasy through drugs is intensifying. i want to feel another state of consciousness, one in which “good enough” is inconsequential and nonexistent. i want to feel that everything, absolutely everything, is beautiful and lovely and perfect just the fucking way it is. i want to see pretty  fucking colors and shapes and i want everything to feel good. i don’t want to hurt anymore, not emotionally. i don’t know if i can continue being content in my mediocrity any longer. i know i can’t but what am i gong to do about it? nothing. because i am weak. i am nothing and no one and it doesn’t matter. i don’t matter.

(Source: fiftyrantsperday, via victorguido)

for-sirius:

fawkes-:

 I fucking love these so much.

(via king-of-theworld)